Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
