This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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