I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
