i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it was like eating out sand paper
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
