Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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