Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
