A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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