Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
