chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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