Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
