better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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