Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
worst night to have a conscience
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize