i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize