i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What drink are we having for lunch?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
