Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize