We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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