if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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