Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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