guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
