so let's talk penis.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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