I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
