Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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