That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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