How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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