Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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