Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
