did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
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I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
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You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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