Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
