Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize