Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
