where does the pee come out of this thing
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
