Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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