Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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