Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
