I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
