help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
