You're so nebulous sometimes
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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