I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
