sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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