UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you would pick up someone in the library
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
