White coat. Heels.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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