How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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