He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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