She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
