Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
