The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
