Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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