he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
