Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
