wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
