yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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