doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
