i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
