thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
