I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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