I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
