oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just got carded by a ten year old.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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