if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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