i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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