Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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