I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
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I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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