he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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