did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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