Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
